American Apparel Hires Porn Stars

I knew I knew that face from somewhere! Logging into my Myspace, I realized, degenerate that I am, that I had already spooked one out to the latest American Apparel ad girl. And I didn't even know her name, isn't that sad?

But now I can put a name to that face! It's Faye Valentine. Internet Porn star. Here is the link to her Freeones thread, if you have to whack off to her immediately.





See people? This is the truth. This happens. I'm not the bad guy. The bad guy has this little girl's ads running on his blog, benefiting from this, and they don't tell you the truth! I am the TRUTH!


And God help you if you try to deny the truth! (It's totally her, don't argue)

And good for her, at least it's legit print work, geez, I saw a video of her getting fisted by another chick...it was intense! But, not a good way for a girl to make a living.

The Ray Of Sunlight That is Emma Stone

These blogs really annoy me. Why do these people keep posting that fraud of a human being Heidi Montag, and her douche bag boyfriend Spencer Pratt? WHY!!!???

When there are true visions of grace and beauty in Hollywood, like Emma Stone. People, it's not that hard to find, you just have to look a little. Geez. Check out her video and pictures at GQ.com


UT is here for you, people! You people who want something different. Who deserve something different! Something fresh. And although we don't have much of a staff, and we can't update as regularly. Consider us your home!


BONUS:

A video I found of her being yelled at contantly by photographers as she poses on the red carpet. Really weird. But I know some of you will whack off to this.

Nothing Makes Me Want To Kill Myself More Than 'The Hills'

Seriously. I don't care what you think you've overcome in your life. No problem, no struggle, no abuse, no pain, no hardship, NOTHING that you've ever faced is as suicide inducing as sitting through a complete episode of The Hills.

Peaches Geldof At The Dark Knight Premiere

That's all.

No Bale, no Oldman, no Eckhart, and obviously no Ledger. Just Peaches.

Andy Dick Is The Real Joker

It's simple.....Kill the Bat Man.

In this photo released by Riverside County Calif., Sheriff's Department, comedian Andy Dick is shown after being arrested for suspicion of drug possession and sexual battery early Wednesday morning July 16, 2008, in Murrieta, Calif.

The Netflix XBox Console

This image reminds me of some bad mushroom trip I had years ago while playing Xbox and havng high anxiety over returning my Netflix envelope as soon as I possibly could. Oh noooooo, they've melted into the same thing! I can't mail my Xbox, I need it! Oh no!


Microsoft Corp. and Netflix, Inc. today announced a partnership to enable consumers to instantly stream more than 10,000 movies and TV episodes from Netflix to the TV via Xbox LIVE. To mark the occassion, promotional Xbox 360 game consoles with Netflix branding were produced.

Miss Universe: Just Give It To Belgium

I stopped paying attention to this stupid crap, becasue my favorites never win. Even though I'm right! Okay, sure, I'm boring, I like blondes with light eyes, whoah, kill me. I'd just stop the whole production and say, Miss Belgium, you win. None of these girls are as hot as you are, so we canceled the event this year. Congratulations, now you can go blow Donald Trump, if you want.



Miss Belgium is the goddess in yellow. And her name is Alizee Poulicek.

Come Monday, the 14th, and she DOESN'T win....It's fixed.

No One Gets Out Of A Car Better Than Mischa Barton

A goddess. Really. I remember this old picture I posted a while ago, where she looked angelic! This girl looks amazing when she gets out of cars! Am I insane?



This dress looks amazing on her, too. Amazing.

God, why do you give me these images to obsess over? WHY?!

A Haunting Picture

No joke here. Just a really impactful picture I saw in the news wires today. This face will haunt me the next time I casually eat rice.

A Pakistani girl cries as she waits to get a food ration during a food distribution outside the Data Durbar mosque in Lahore, Pakistan, on Wednesday , July 9, 2008. World rice and other grains prices have risen sharply this year because of growing demand, poor weather and rising cost of petroleum in some grain-producing countries. Some Asian countries, including India and Vietnam, recently suspended rice exports to guarantee their own supplies. (AP Photo/Emilio Morenatti)

Four Beautiful Women Introduce 'Sensuous'

Mmm. I'm loving me some slightly older women right now. Recently, Hollywood has been infantilizing our sexual icons, simply to squeeze more time out of their career image. But it's awesome to see these older women (it sucks that I have to call them 'older') looking great. Proof you don't have to be in your teens or early twenties to look hot.



From left, Estee Lauder spokesmodels Hilary Rhoda, Gwyneth Paltrow, Elizabeth Hurley and Carolyn Murphy make an appearance to launch the new fragrance "Sensuous" on Tuesday, July 8, 2008 in New York.

Paltrow is looking ravishing lately.

Good Looking Bar Food

I just need to escape sometimes. From this little cubicle, from this pain in the ass week. So, I thought I'd post this picture of a great looking skirt steak sandwich. Ah... Yes. The beer is half full in the background, signifying that I already have a good half a pint beer buzz when the sandwich comes out.

But, that's not the truth. The truth is, I'm hard at work and I'm not leaving for another 7 hours.

Something Is Good About Elizabeth Banks

I can't put my finger on it (or maybe i can) but there's something really sexy about Elizabeth Banks. I'd do it.



Elizabeth Banks, a cast member in the film "Meet Dave," poses at the premiere of the film in Los Angeles, Tuesday, July 8, 2008.

This Beautiful Woman Is Dead.

Sad story here to kick off the UT day. Full story here.

The body of British Columbia model Diana Gabrielle OBrien, of Salt Spring Island, has been found near Shanghai in what Chinese police are reportedly treating as a homicide. OBrien was working for a Shanghai-based modeling company, JH Model Management, one of Chinas leading modeling agencies, since mid-June.

Caroline Trentini, Just Because

Stunning. I wish these backstage pics were better quality, but it's better than nothing.

Sacha Baron Cohen Is A Genius!

So, our man, Ali-G, Borat, and this time, Bruno, convinced a bunch of crazy red-necks in Arkansas and Texas to attend this wild "Blue Collar Brawlin" event by offering $1 beers. When the event filled up, the cage fighters started making out and kissing each other in a gay frenzy. The crowd went nuts!


Read the story here.

Anita Briem Film Stills

Hot little Icelandic chick! Damn! Check out the trailer for Journey To The Center Of The Earth.

I Have NEVER Posted Tila Tequila

And for good reason, too. What is the deal with this little chick? She's so boring. I mean, really? This is your gig? You're some little bi-sexual slut? Really? And she's probably not even a slut. I've got a PHd in slut detection. I can see one coming a mile away. This little twig looks like an uptight bitch. She probably doesn't even like giving head. I hate being lied to. Stupid chick.



Remember kids, there is nothing more unattractive in this world than an average looking chick who THINKS she's hotter than what she really is. Total turn off.

It's more fun to fuck a fat chick, who knows she's fat. Trust me.